"Don't Hate Me Because I'm a Conservative Gender Roles Liberal"

Excited about finally launching a blog, last night I told 3 of my closest girl friends my alias and asked them to follow me. I wanted their opinion, and their vow to plug and promote me any which way they can. One of my friends came back with "Good job. It's very well written!" YES! Another said "I LOVE it! Nice work 'Tammy'." WOOT WOOT! However, though the praise was great, it was the comment from my third friend that my mind played over and over again. "The anti-feminist stance is disturbing." Pheeeeeeeew CRASH. This is a friend whose values and ideals I not only respect, but usually, until that instant, have always shared. Together we have waged passionate Facebook debates, ok more like attacks, on anyone who challenges our liberal (very liberal )ideology, we work in the same field, we support the same politicians, we even world travelled together. She knows I'm not anti-feminist, or am I? We debated our points back and forth for some time last night. She had some great arguments. I found myself verebally chasing my tail trying to convince her of my point, but she stood firm in her convictions and now I am questioning myself. When I was a little girl my father's friends would say "Are you going to grow up and marry a rich man." I would answer, "No I'm going to make my own money. " What happened to that little girl? Was she too lazy to pursue her dreams of fame and fortune? Was she too practical to chase her dreams of being an anchorwoman or actress because her mother drilled in her that any lapse of health insurance would surely bring on some terrible affliction she could never pay for? Is it all from being overworked and underpaid? Or is it something else? Is it a transformation that happened the second I saw my first sonogram picture, felt my belly move, looked into my newborn's eyes? I firmly believe that women are natural nurturers. We have to be, how else would the species survive if we didn't really want to be mothers? No one is going to stretch her stomach to watermelon size and tolerate nine months of heartburn without a strong desire for what lies beneath her taught itchy stretch marked skin. It's hard to endure all that and then, after 6 short sleep deprived weeks have a day care worker pry your infant from your hands so you can go to work while they take pictures of all your child's first with a disposeable camera you placed in the diaper bag. We are hard wired to raise babies, feather our nests, whip up garlic mashed potatoes and roast chicken (or tofu). In the same respect men are biologically hunters and gatherers. Have you witnessed the despair a man experiences when he loses his job? I have, and it is heartbreaking. My own nest has been in an opposite skit. I work the most hours out of the home and the hubs runs the vacuum and we both want to be in the other parties shoes because, I believe it is our nature. Do I think this means women shouldn't bring home the bacon and that men shouldn't wear dishgloves? Not at all, I think everyone should do what works for them. My husband and I feel that reversing back to traditional gender roles is what would work best for us. So to my dear friend, and you, my dear readers, I don't advocate anything anti-feminist. I am a firm believer in a woman's right to chose, have birth control coverage, use assisted reproductive technologies to get pregnant. I believe that single women should become mothers if they want to, that a married woman doesn't have to have children, that a woman who wants to work outside the home is just as entitled to as a man. Like I said, I am a die hard liberal, I just happen to be one who feels there is an argument in favor of conservative gender roles.