SNE (Social Network Etiquette)

As I was driving to work today I heard on the radio that a popular, limitedly talented, recording "artist" classlessly tweeted a picture of herself urinating on the street. I started to think about how so many people, famous and not, seem to forget that social network sites are public domain and often cross the line when it comes to what they put out there for all of their internet friends to see. I began to wonder what Miss Manners would think about this phenomenon. One of the areas we are lacking in these modern times are in our manners. Good old fashioned etiquette has gone the way of poodle skirt. What better way to bring it back than marry it with the most modern of phenomenons? Social Network Etiquette... 1. Don't respond to other people's posts in all caps. It suggests screaming. 2. Don't put passive/aggressive status updates on your wall. Address the person you are angry at privately. Anonymous hints that you are mad at someone may make some of your innocent friends wonder if they could be who you are talking about. 3. Don't mention something you are super excited, upset, nervous, etc about and then tell people who ask that you can't tell why. It comes across as attention seeking and annoying. 4. Don't "Like" your own posts, it's narcissistic. 5. Don't talk negatively about your job, co workers, or boss unless you want to get fired. 6. Don't check other people into places without their knowledge, you may unwittingly be outting them to a partner or boss who thinks they are somewhere else. 7. Don't publicize the personal habits of yourself or your spouse. It may seem funny, but it is embarrassing for him/her and anyone who reads it and then sees either of you after. 8. Don't talk about your sex life. Noone really wants to know. 9. Don't post nude pictures of your kids, if they are lucky enough to escape the risk of your garden variety internet pervert finding them, you will still have to deal with the fallout when your child is old enough to find out about it. 10. If you have a party and know you may be leaving out someone who might be offended don't discuss it on your wall. If you have been a guest at a party and want to thank the host do it in a private message, or you may be revealing to uninvited others about the event unknowingly. Ladies and gentlemen, this is just the tip of the iceberg. What SNEs would you add to the list?

An Open Letter to Stay At Home Moms

In light of the Ann Romney/Hilary Rosen debate, I want to help all women, mothers, non-mothers, working and staying at home, a chance to understand why this is such a touchy subject, especially from my side of the issue. Dear SAHM, Let me begin by saying that my passion, if it comes across as angry or defensive, is truly nothing but jealousy wearing an even uglier disguise. For, although I often feel a large percent of you paint my kind as selfish career loving women who would rather have nannies and daycare raise their inconvenient bundles of non income related responsibility, my ultimate goal is to be one of you. I feel you do have it easier, even though being home with young children is challenging, and "a 24 hour job" with no vacations or time off. Before you get all huffy let me try to explain. Since we are all extremely busy I will explain this in the shortest and most direct way possible, a list entitled: Why It's Doubly Hard to Be a Working (out of the home) Mother 1. Don't kid yourself, we are full time workers AND full time moms. Just because the work clock is ticking doesn't mean we aren't thinking, worrying, and checking in on our kids. 2. Our jobs are 24 hours too, actually we do 48 hours worth of work in 24. Once our work day is over the majority of us, who can't afford cleaning services and takeout, have a new work day that is just beginning. We have to do everything you do around the house in a fraction of the time. 3. We are also up in the middle of the night and exhausted the next day. The only difference is we HAVE to get dressed, and out the door without the luxury of sipping coffee until the end of the Today Show. 4. We don't get vacations either. When our out of home jobs are on a break we are you. Weekends, we get less time to play because we are catching up on all the cleaning, errands, and cooking that you got to do all week long, usually at the sacrifice of spending time with our kids. 5. We have guilt. Lots of guilt. Guilt about not being there, guilt about being tired when we are there, guilt that our sick children are left with the babysitter because we can't miss a day of work for fear of losing our jobs, guilt that we didn't see their first step, guilt that our children aren't learning as fast as their SAHM advantaged peers. 6. We have fear. Fear of asking our bosses to leave early again for a pediatrician appointment, fear that our childless co workers hate us because we always seem to need more leeway in our schedules, fear that our husbands will leave us for someone who keeps a cleaner house and has meals on the table, fear our children will resent us for not being there when they were young. 7. We have child care anxiety. We fret over the cost and the quality. Some of us only have one person to rely on due to the overwhelming cost of daycare and when that person calls in sick it throws our entire morning into a panic (back to fear again). 8. We have you beating us down. I've heard horrible statements about how career moms should stay home and raise "proper" children. That our jobs are at the expense of our families. That if we learned to clip coupons and live without luxuries we could be home with our children. 9. Many of us don't have a choice. So many families today could not afford the basics of food, fuel, and shelter without the earnings we provide. Many of us are the breadwinners and or insurance providers. Many of us would be you if we could and if we didn't chose to be you, if we were lucky enough to have that choice, then that is ok too. So please, the next time you are feeling unfulfilled instead of attacking us and making us feel like crap when we already feel like crap and are simply doing what is best for OUR families, take a look inside yourself. Why must you try to prove your worth by tearing us down and implying that we aren't full time moms? Why must you be in this contest of who has it tougher and what your monetary value would be if you got paid? I told you I'm jealous of you, I realize that and if given the opportunity I will stay home with my kids. If you are so unhappy on the flip side, however, go look into getting yourself out there working. It may be what is best for you. Perhaps Hilary Rosen should have said Ann Romney never worked for someone else because it is ALL work, however, believe me, when you have a job to answer to on top of your family, it's no cakewalk, more like a high wire above a crocodile tank. Sincerely, Tammy

I'm THAT Woman

I know I had tweeted I would blog about the toll a multiples pregnancy took on my body, but I'm going to save that, because today I came to a more urgent epiphany. I went to see a friend of mine for lunch. It was the first time I was meeting her 3 month old. Like many newborns he was quiet and sleepy as he calmly rested in his infant seat while my friend leisurely ate and chatted with me. Ahhh, I remember those days. Today I realized just how far my babies have come. No longer are they the tiny quiet infants they once were, oh no, they have grown. Yes, they are cute, yes, I love them, yes they are good boys, but are they, or any other toddler for that matter, suited for eating in a restaurant? My one son was pretty good, sans for trying to dismantle a curtain hung behind him, his brother, however, had me desperately wanting to hide under the table. My baby B, as he was dubbed in ultrasound pictures and at the hospital, wanted nothing to do with the experience. He flailed and fussed in the high chair, he spit food all over the floor, he screamed and carried on. I was apologetic and extremely mortified, thinking of all the times my pre parent husband and self used to sit in public and mutter under our breath about spoiled noisy children. Was this my payback for my prior judgmental ways? As we were leaving and I packed my children into their stroller, leaving behind a veritable crime scene of the gastronomical kind, I felt defeated by my own ignorance. Welcome toddler hood, so long world, as we will be forced to hide for at least the next two years, I presume. It's that or be the spectacle everywhere we go, you know, the one you tell the hostess, "Please don't seat us over there..." as you point in the direction of me and my adorable ill behaved spawn. Yes, I admit it, I have become THAT woman.